Youre Not On Mute, You Know

January 29, 2008

I am a multitasker. That is why I love the mute button when on a

conference call in my home. It allows me to get a few small tasks

done, let my dog in and out of the house and keep a running commentary

going with the host, with no one the wiser.

I say things like

"I agree."

"I'm with you."

"You're right."

Sometimes I say things like:

"That can't be right."

"Well, I wouldn't put it that way."

"I don't agree with you."

Such was the case the other night, while on a conference call.

However, I started to notice something different about this call. As

always, I said a few words when I got on and immediately put myself on

mute. Then it seemed as if there were technical difficulties. The host

sounded as if he was speaking in a tunnel. I thought that strange but

things happen. The call became stranger. In my running commentary, to

myself, I would ask questions that it seemed the host anticipated. I

thought, " Wow. This guy is really great. He anticipates any question

someone could ask."

Finally, in trying to drive home his point, he made an analogy

involving a first car. He said, "Imagine your first car. It's a stick

shift with a clutch and you drive it to the top of a hill and then

what happens?"

I answered, on mute, "Well, obviously, you start to slide back down

the hill."

The host laughed," You could do that but no, you would floor the gas."

Then I knew. The most horrible sensation washed over me.

"I am not on mute, am I?"

"No, you are not on mute."

This whole time, on the conference call, as my unfiltered thoughts are

spouting out of my mouth, people from all across the nation are

listening to

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