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Nine Important Facts to Remember as We Grow Older

 

#9 Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

 

#8 Life is sexually transmitted.

 

#7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

 

#6 Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

 

#5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

 

#4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

 

#3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

 

#2 In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

 

#1 Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow.

 

Please share this wisdom with others while I go to the bathroom.

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