Joke Of The Day

[DSTM]

Three guys are sitting in a sauna: a Mexican, an Asian, and a white guy. The Mexican and white guy are showing off their new tech gadgets. The white guy says, "Hey, look what I got: the new Google Glass!" The Mexican & Asian say, "Wow, that's nice, man." Then the Mexican guy says, "Check out my new cellphone; it's a watch!" The white guy and Asian say, "Very cool, dude." The Asian guy has nothing to show these guys, so he gets up and walks away naked to to the bathroom. Then he comes back 5 minutes later from the bathroom still naked with paper hanging out of his butt crack. The Mexican and white guy say, "Hey, you have something hanging out of your ass." The Asian guy says, "Oh look, I'm receiving a Fax!"

[DSTM]

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns, and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. He ties the girl to the bed and he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, and then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife, "Listen, this guy is an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you." His wife responds, "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you, too!"

[allheart55 Cindy E]

[allheart55 Cindy E]

[DSTM]

I was at my bank today waiting in a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady, who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla of yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?" The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations." The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too!"

[allheart55 Cindy E]

[allheart55 Cindy E]

[allheart55 Cindy E]

[allheart55 Cindy E]

[allheart55 Cindy E]

[allheart55 Cindy E]

[allheart55 Cindy E]

[allheart55 Cindy E]

[plodr]

I never thought to make the envelope overweight. I actually return and write on the card in red to sign up with my name on it to remove me from the mailing list.

I especially wonder about where people got the mailing addresses because I get offers for hearing tests for my mother who died 5 years ago and never lived at my address! Occasionally, I get something addressed to my dad who died 18 years ago and never lived at my address.

[allheart55 Cindy E]

[allheart55 Cindy E]

[allheart55 Cindy E]

[allheart55 Cindy E]

[allheart55 Cindy E]

[allheart55 Cindy E]

[allheart55 Cindy E]

[plodr]

I had cataract surgery in January. My eyes are like they were 30 years ago. I asked the doc if he could do something with the rest of my body. :jump:

[allheart55 Cindy E]

[plodr]

[allheart55 Cindy E]