Jump to content

Joke Of The Day

allheart55 Cindy E
 Share

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 4.2k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Posted Images

DSTM Newbie

DSTM

Posted
Posted

I couldn't help but overhear two guys in their mid-twenties while sitting at the bar last night.

One of the guys says to his buddy: "Man you look tired."

His buddy says: “Mate I'm exhausted. My girlfriend and I have sex all the time. She’s after me 3 and 4 times a day. She wants sex before breakfast, sex before I go to work, when I come home she’s tearing my shirt off as I come through the door.

She’s got her hands down my pants after dinner. She even joins me in the shower almost every night. I just don't know what to do."

A fellow in his 50’s sitting a couple of stools down, also overheard the conversation.

He looked over at the two young men and with the wisdom of years said,

"Marry her. That'll put a stop to all that shit!"

  • Like 1

  • FPCH Admin
allheart55 Cindy E Newbie

allheart55 Cindy E

Posted
  • Author
  • FPCH Admin
Posted

What happens when you tease an alligator......

 

 

when you tease an alligator.jpg

  • Like 3

~I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.~

~~Robert McCloskey~~

plodr Newbie

plodr

Posted
Posted

My husband and I discovered a few old papers with Laws of Life on them. I'll be posting some of them here from time to time.

 

1. A day without sunshine is like, night.

2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

3. I just got lost in thought; it was unfamiliar territory.

4. 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

5. 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

6. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

7. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

8. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

9. Honk if you love peace and quiet.

10. Remember half the people you know are below average.

  • Like 4
plodr Newbie

plodr

Posted
Posted

More Laws of Life

1. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?

2. Nothing is fool-proof to a talented fool.

3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

4. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

5. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

6. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

7. The early bird may get the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese.

8. Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back.

9. Mind like a steel trap - rusty and illegal in 37 states.

10. Quantum mechanics: the dreams stuff is made of.

  • Like 2

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...