Some days nothing seems to go right…...

 

 

A police officer called the station on his radio.

"I have an interesting case here. An old lady shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped."

"Have you arrested the woman?"

"Not yet. The floor's still wet."

 

 

So I finally landed a job as a Walmart greeter, which is a good find for many retirees, unfortunately I lasted less than a day.

 

About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. Per my greeter training manual I said pleasantly, “Good morning and welcome to Walmart.” “Nice children you have there. Are they twins?”

 

The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, “Hell no, they ain’t twins. The oldest one is 9, and the other one is 7. Why the hell would you think they’re twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?”

 

So I replied, “I’m neither blind nor stupid, madam. I just couldn’t believe someone slept with you twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Walmart.”

 

My supervisor said I probably wasn’t cut out for this line of work.