Not new but its a classic and belongs here:

 

 

Three Ladies in a Sauna

 

 

THREE WOMEN, TWO YOUNGER, AND ONE SENIOR CITIZEN, WERE SITTING NAKED IN A SAUNA.

 

 

SUDDENLY THERE WAS A BEEPING SOUND. THE YOUNG WOMAN PRESSED HER FOREARM AND THE

 

BEEP STOPPED.

 

 

THE OTHERS LOOKED AT HER QUESTIONINGLY. "THAT WAS MY PAGER," SHE SAID. "I HAVE A MICROCHIP UNDER THE SKIN OF MY ARM."

 

 

 

A FEW MINUTES LATER, A PHONE RANG. THE SECOND YOUNG WOMAN LIFTED HER PALM TO HER EAR.

 

 

WHEN SHE FINISHED, SHE EXPLAINED, "THAT WAS MY MOBILE PHONE. I HAVE A MICROCHIP IN MY HAND."

 

 

THE OLDER WOMAN FELT VERY LOW-TECH. NOT TO BE OUT DONE, SHE DECIDED SHE HAD TO DO SOMETHING JUST AS IMPRESSIVE. SHE STEPPED OUT OF THE SAUNA AND WENT TO THE BATHROOM.

 

 

SHE RETURNED WITH A PIECE OF TOILET PAPER HANGING FROM HER REAR END.

 

 

THE OTHERS RAISED THEIR EYEBROWS AND STARED AT HER.

 

THE OLDER WOMAN FINALLY SAID.........."WELL, WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT......I'M GETTING A FAX!!"

A 65-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.

 

The Receptionist said, 'Yes Sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?

 

There's something wrong With my penis', he replied.

 

The receptionist became irritated and said, 'You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that.

 

Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you,' he said.

 

The Receptionist replied; 'Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of

 

people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private.

 

The man replied, You shouldn't ask people questions in a roomful of strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone.

 

The man walked out, waited several minutes, and then re-entered.

 

The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, 'Yes??'

 

The man replied there's something wrong with my ear.

 

The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice.. And asked, what is wrong with your ear, Sir?'

 

I can't pee out of it,' he replied.

 

The waiting room erupted in laughter...

 

Mess with seniors, and you're going to lose.

 

YOU KNOW YOU'RE LAUGHING!

Folks generally aren't very creative in choosing names for their dogs.

 

 

That's why there are so many named Rover and Spot.

 

 

But, have you heard the plight of the fellow who thought he'd be cute and named his dog Sex?

 

 

It goes like this:

 

 

"One day Sex and I took a walk and he ran away from me. I spent hours looking for that dog. A policeman came by and asked what I was doing in this alley at midnight? I told him I was looking for Sex.

 

 

My case comes up next Tuesday."

 

 

"But, that ain't the worst part. One day, I went to the town hall to get a dog license for Sex. The clerk asked me what I wanted. I told him I wanted a license for Sex. He said, "I'd like to have one, too."

Then, I said, "You don't understand. She's a dog."

He said he didn't care how she looked. When I told him I'd had Sex since I was 5, he said, "You must have been an early bloomer."

 

 

"When I decided to get married, I told the Minister I wanted to have Sex at the wedding. He told me I'd have to wait until after the wedding. When I protested that Sex had played a big part in my life and that my whole life revolved around Sex, he said he didn't want to hear about my personal life."

 

 

"After my wife and I were married, I took the dog with us on the honeymoon.

When I checked into the hotel, I told the clerk I wanted a room for my wife and wanted one for Sex. She said. "Every room in the hotel was for sex." I said, "You don't understand. Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me, too."

 

 

"When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. When I told the Judge I had Sex before I was married, he grinned and said, " Me. too."

 

 

"Now that I've been thrown in jail, married, divorced and had more trouble with that dog than I ever imagined, I'm in counselling. My psychiatrist asked me what my problem was. I said "Sex has died and left my life. It's like losing a best friend and I'm so lonely," I told him.

 

 

He said, "Look, you and I both know that sex isn't man's best friend. You should get a dog.

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Too funny: I just hung up from some local friends, who ARE on their way to Florida, because it snowed here... :golf:

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Too cute!! Love dogs.

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Love that German Shepherd

Life After Marriage

 

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Grandma's dog is a Rhodesian Ridgeback and Shepherd: they are bred to be lion hunting dogs!

Grandma's dog is a Rhodesian Ridgeback and Shepherd: they are bred to be lion hunting dogs!

We were all a bit afraid of Jake at first, but he is so much fun!