I WANT A NEW INSANE ASYLUM FOR ME, CAPIN' CRUNCH!

MY NAME IS CAPIN' CRUNCH AND I AM A MORON BASTARD.

I WAS IMPORTED FROM FRANCE AFTER MY SCIENTIST FATHERS, BOTH MALE, WERE

KILLED BY NAZIS IN GERMANY. I WAS MADE OUT OF SHIT, IN A GENETIC

ENGINEERING EXPERIMENT.

I AM STUPID, AND IT SHOWS

I WAS ANALLY PROBED BY THE ALIEN OVERLORD XENU MANY YEARS AGO, AND HE

IMPREGNATED ME WITH ALIEN SPERM , THEN I GAVE BIRTH ANALY TO MY ONLY SON

I NOW CALL SPANKY DA MONKEY. THUS I AM A MOTHER.

MOTHER OF ALL SHITHEADS! THATS WHY I HAVE NOTHING TO DO BUT TYPE CRAP

ALL DAY IN NEWSGROUPS AS YOU CAN SEE FROM THE TIME I POST, I SIT AT MY

NURSING HOME ALL DAY POSTING FROM EARLY MORNING TO LATE AT NIGHT... I

HAVE NO FRIENDS AND EVERYBODY HATES ME. SPREADING SOME OF MY MISERY IS

ALL I CAN DO TO TRY TO FEEL A LITTLE BETTER INSIDE, WHICH MY SOUL IS

ACTUALLY A TANGLE OF FEAR HATE AND PERVERSIONS.

THE NURSING HOME GAVE ME THIS SHITTY COMPUTER IN ORDER TO GET RID OF MY

CRAPPY PERSONALITY AND IT WORKED.. NOW IM FIGHTING AND HATING ALL THE

WORLD AND I LOWERED THE MEDICATIONS I WAS TAKING BECAUSE MY DOCTORS KEPT

TELLING ME IM CRAZY. WHAT DO THEY KNOW. I HAVE MASTERS DEGREES IN ALL

SUBJECTS KNOWN TO HUMANITY, IM RICH FAMOUS GOODLOOKING AND EVERYONE

SHOULD CALL ME CAPIN' CRUNCH CHRIST THE SAVIOUR OF HUMANITY. AND I DONT

HAVE AN INFLATED EGO OR DELUSIONAL BRAIN EITHER!

I WANT